Burnt Toast Sports — Brilliantly Stupid

There are very few days in the MLB season where baseball takes a back seat to another professional sport. Among the rare events that serve as the main course: the NFL Draft, the Craftsman Truck Series, and the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest.

Friday marks a historic day on the sports calendar—the long-awaited return of an American icon, Joey Chestnut. No man in America’s 249-year history has ever eaten more glizzys (hot dogs) in a 10-minute span.

Last year, Chestnut was banned from the Nathan’s contest due to a sponsorship conflict with Impossible Foods. Nathan’s claimed the sponsorship was a conflict of interest, first, Impossible is a rival brand, and second, it’s vegan—which clashes with Nathan’s claim that their hot dogs are “100% real beef.” That’s like calling a McNugget a farm-to-table delicacy.

With Chestnut sidelined, the 2024 Hot Dog Eating Contest was a flop for everyone besides hungry Italians, as Patrick Bertoletti won the men’s competition with 58 hot dogs. It was also a failure for Nathan’s—last year’s contest had the worst ratings in over a decade. One thing became clear: Joey Chestnut is bigger than the hotdogs he eats and even contest itself.

Chestnut is back and set to make his long-awaited return to Coney Island for the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest. His comeback might be bigger than Michael Jordan returning to the NBA, Tom Brady and Gronk reuniting in Tampa, and Jonathan Lucroy retuning from the IL after dropping his luggage on his arm—combined.

Chestnut has won the contest a record 16 times, only losing three times in 19 appearances. One of those losses came in 2015, when Matt Stonie pulled off the upset. That same week, Chestnut got dumped by his fiancée—eating 60 hot dogs with a broken heart and losing might be the saddest thing ever.

After that loss, Chestnut said in an interview, “He (Stonie) made me hungry.” Well, one thing’s for sure: he’s hungry again.

During his suspension, Joey hasn’t slowed down. Last year, he competed in an exhibition match against legend Takeru Kobayashi and ate 83 hot dogs in 10 minutes.

He’s now up to 55 world records for eating outrageous amounts of food. Some of his most impressive feats include:

– 390 shrimp wontons in 8 minutes

– 47 grilled cheese sandwiches in 10 minutes

– A whole 9.35-pound turkey in 10 minutes

– 141 hard-boiled eggs in 8 minutes

– 118 jalapeño poppers in 10 minutes

– 43 pepperoni rolls in 10 minutes

– 28 lbs of poutine in 10 minutes

– 121 Twinkies in 10 minutes

Chestnut is the clear favorite this year—DraftKings Sportsbook has him at -2000 to win.

Very few athletes can dominate their profession for two decades. Joey, now 41, is the oldest he’s ever been. When asked about retirement, he said, “Retirement would be death. I’m doing this thing until the wheels fall off baby.”

One thing’s for sure: July 4th is a bad day to be a hot dog. Joey’s training follows a five-day cycle, with the fifth day reserved for a high-volume training session, followed by four days of recovery eating. That usually includes high-fiber foods, a cleanse day, and even a structured burping routine. It’s not far off from the training blocks used by elite ultramarathoners.

In an interview on Pardon My Take, Joey described his perfect hot dog eating conditions: 75 degrees, partly cloudy, low humidity, and no wind. This year’s Fourth of July forecast? A fast dog day: 76 degrees, 46% humidity, and a gentle 8 mph breeze.

This Independence Day, Chestnut has his eyes—and tummy—on breaking his own record of 76 hot dogs. Once again, Joey will put smiles on our faces, inspire a nation, and remind the rest of the world why the United States of America is still #1.