Burnt Toast Sports – Brilliantly Stupid

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve probably heard by now: the Brewers have the most wins in Major League Baseball. Pat Murphy’s running on pocket pancakes, and Andrew Vaughn is putting up numbers only Barry Bonds has accomplished. Just when you think the wins and weird stats can’t get any more ridiculous, Vaughn launches another homer and the Crew casually piles up 20 hits.

This 60-day stretch isn’t a gimmick. It’s historic. But let’s be honest—some of these stats are starting to lose their edge. How many times can we hear that the Brewers are good without our eyes glazing over? So here are some stats you absolutely have not heard. And you won’t find them anywhere else.

Quinn Priester is currently having the greatest season of all time by a pitcher whose first name starts with “Q.” 

Okay sure—the list isn’t long. It’ just Priester and a guy named Quincy Trouppe, who pitched 2.1 innings in 1931 at age 18. But in his last 10 starts, Priester has a 2.38 ERA, a 1.04 WHIP, and the Brewers have won all 10. The legend of Quinn grows, and let it be known: he’s already the king of the Q’s.

Caleb Durbin has hit the second-most home runs by a 5’7” rookie in the division era. 

He’s seen less playing time lately due to Anthony Seigler’s rise—though that’s a bit confusing. Durbin is hitting .240 against righties this year, while Seigler is at .182. Makes you scratch your head. Durbin is also one home run away from tying the MLB rookie record for a 5’7” player, currently held by Ozzie Albies (6 HRs). All eyes will be on Sunday’s game when the Crew faces lefty Sean Manaea. Could be history in the making for the shortest bomber in baseball.

When Nancy Pelosi’s stock portfolio finishes in the red for the day, the Brewers have won 88% of their games in the past 30 days. 

In that same stretch, Milwaukee is winning 82% overall. That means the win rate jumps by 6% when Nancy’s day trading goes sour. Before placing your next Brewers moneyline bet, consider checking how Nancy’s investments are doing.

Isaac Collins’ 19.3% chase rate is 94th percentile good—on a leveled scale, that’s the same as…

• Rotten Tomatoes score for Pixar’s 2016 hit Finding Dory (94%). Just like Dory, Collins keeps on swimming—batting .357 and getting on base at a .447 clip over his last 28 games. 
• Google review rating of Summer Shandy (4.7, which would also be 94% if scaled like a percentile score)

Now, for fun, let’s compare Isaac’s elite zone discipline to Pete Crow-Armstrong, whose chase rate is an absurd 43.4%—putting him in the 1st percentile. That’s worse than the Tomatometer score for Cars 2 by a whomping 39%.